Typically when someone starts up a new project they’re passionate about, they tell everyone they know, especially their biggest cheerleaders, who are often family. Guess what… I haven’t told ANY of my family about this blog. Notta one.
I have told some of my family about our goal to go tiny. My little sister, and Philip’s little sister were the most supportive. They were awesome, actually! They said they could totally see us doing that, and think it’s a great choice for who we are and what we want to achieve. That was really great to hear.
As much as it would be nice to say “I don’t care what people think and I’m doing this for me!” deep down, you really want your family’s approval.
I told my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt was quiet about it, but really polite and interested in what I had to say. My Uncle, on the other hand, well he didn’t get it at all. He joked about it and said his suggestions were playing devil’s advocate. He wouldn’t stop pushing his solution, which was to buy Philip and me a house for us to rent to own. Love him, but that conversation isn’t going any further, I can see.
My mom will flip. Her idea of success is very performance driven. From my degree, to my salary, to the square footage of my house. I should also disclose that my mom is the most generous person and would help me in any bind. But I can tell she is the proudest when Philip or I have some new achievement.
My two older sisters… they definitely won’t get it. My sister’s husband is a subdivision developer (our going tiny will be most foreign to him), and my other sister is VP of her company and lives in a huge gorgeous house in one of the nicest subdivisions of the twin cities.
I always have been the black sheep of my family. I’m okay with that! I like being unique. But I also like acceptance and support.
I’m hoping to find some cheerleaders in this wonderful blogging world to help lift us up when we need encouragement during the long, tiny trail we’re setting out on. 🙂 Or maybe we’ll just get tougher along the way.
The Tiny Trail 
I’ve had a similar experience. When I told my parents my father remained neutral with no opinion, and my mother told me that I was “wasting my time”. She couldn’t understand why anybody would bother reading what I wrote and then she warned me not to embarrass her! She told me that I that I’m writing about a topic “she already knows about”. I laughed and told her “I’m not writing this for you”! If I had known it was going to effect her this much I wouldn’t have told her about it. My husband is the opposite! He’s proud that I had the courage to start a blog and tells everyone about it. I think it comes down to a simple generation gap. She is in her 70’s. The bottom line is if I had known it was going to have this effect on my parents, I would have never told them!
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I think you might be on to something with your generational gap observation. What is so mind-boggling to me is how anyone could object so strongly to something that won’t negatively affect them or anyone else, and is done out of the purest of intentions (like helping people navigate their way out of being enslaved to debt)!
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I feel for you guys. When Tim and I told our family about our tiny dream we got mixed reactions. My family (much younger generation and less well off) actually was very supportive right off the bat even though they didn’t completely understand the concept yet and did share some loving concerns/questions. Tims siblings mostly just laughed, the majority of his family didn’t seem to understand why we wanted this and expressed that they didn’t know how anyone could live in such a small space. I’ve realized that going tiny makes others look at their impact and a lot of the time it’s not good. It challenges the traditional American life/dream especially with older generations. His family has come to understand it and they’ve actually been super interested even excited now that we have begun the build. There is hope! 🙂
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That is so encouraging to hear, Celeste! I do hope their perspectives will shift over time. Especially when all my mother talks about is wishing she could retire, but can’t. And my sister and her husband doing nothing but constantly working and running themselves ragged. It’s heartbreaking. Maybe our experience will help them think differently of living a simpler life! It’s awesome that you’ve been able to show that to your families!
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Seriously, we see the same exact circumstances between our family. I don’t know if/when retirement will be an option for some of them, others are paying thousands just to barely upkeep large older homes. Stressing on how to make it work. It’s sad to watch and it seems if previous generations lived a bit less “large” maybe things that are more extreme like the tiny house movement wouldn’t be happening. I don’t know its just interesting to think about our country and always having the “bigger, better, best of everything” mindset.
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It is interesting! Our idea of success and the American dream seems to actually be enslaving us to living outside our means. Contentedness has been a huge focus of ours in the last couple years, trying to break that mindset (because let’s be honest, it creeps up all the time since it’s so ingrained in our culture). I’m proud of our generation who is starting to figure that all out. It takes bravery to try to break social norms, and Millennials seem to have such a bad reputation with the older generations, it’s nice to see us try to make the world a better place.
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Totally agree 🙂
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